What My Life Looks Like Now

Yes, I am still alive. Still here on the internet. It's now almost December and my life is flying and I still can't believe our trip to Paris, or summer for that matter, even happened. So much has happened since I spoke about how hard 2013 has been, and it's also been almost four months since I started a job that I am so unbelievably grateful for, and I've been relatively discrete on here. I'm ready to open up about it now (as much as I can while maintaining the level of professionalism and respect I feel for my company and colleagues). 

First, let's rewind back to the end of July. I had quit my first out of college, entry level "investment job" and took a month off to travel with Christian before he went back to school. I was gearing up to start my culinary arts program. The day I paid my tuition, we were in Denver helping my in-laws move to a new home. I had sent my tuition check a few days before we left for Denver, and had noticed that the check had been cashed on moving day.

That evening, after a VERY long day of non-stop moving and hauling boxes, I sat down in our hotel room to catch up on the internet world. Usually it consists of checking blogs I love (or don't love, too), going down my twitter feed, and meandering for a few minutes through facebook. I was excited to check my email that day, hoping I would have some information about my upcoming courses for school. Instead, I saw an email that was probably one of the most shocking things that had ever happened to me.

This past January, I sent my resume to a lot of PR/ad agencies and firms in Rochester, hoping to be considered for a job. I obviously didn't have much success, hence the investment job ----> culinary school. So when I got an email from a woman (my current boss) asking to interview me for an events coordinator/public relations position at the agency I'm at now, I was floored.

The rest of the story happened so quickly I barely could process it. After two days of skype interviews, I was the newest employee at New York's largest integrated marketing agency outside of Manhattan. It wasn't what I had planned for myself, and to be frank, it wasn't something I thought I'd ever be able to attain. I just didn't recognize that sort of potential in me. But, I'm so happy I took the leap of faith to start my job that brings new challenges and excitement every day (there truly is never a dull moment). 

So, after the news that I'd be starting a new job, we jetted off to Paris with butterflies in our stomach.

The day after we got home (let it be known that I was a little bit jet lagged), I started my new job, where I was immediately thrown into a massive annual event we were spearheading. I wore nice work clothes for an hour before changing into workout gear to head out to the venue where the event was being held. It was thrilling, intimidating, and exactly what I had always dreamed of doing.

Now, I'm starting to get a handle on my job and all that it entails. The people I work with are my biggest mentors. I work with strong, capable men and women who have taught me more in the last 4 months than I learned in the 4 years I was at BYU (no offense BYU Comms, I still love you to death). 

I get a lot of people who ask what I do on a day-to-day basis. The honest answer is that it varies.

On the PR side of things, I am writing PR plans and press releases, as well as doing a variety of media relations like media pitching, t.v., radio and print interview coordination, publicity value analyses, print and tv advertising coordination, press release distribution, etc.

On the events side, we do everything from vendor relations to decor, catering coordination to venue management, presenting creative concepts and seeing through an event from start to finish. A lot of our clients are non-profits, which means we do a lot of fundraising events like galas. We also do some corporate work and I'm currently working on a festival (the same one I started working on my first day) that happens every August.

So. Now you know what I do and why I love what I'm doing. My colleagues are smart, kind, hilarious and experts in their field. I, on the other hand, am still learning how to do what I do, but I'm grateful to have the opportunity to learn in a collaborative environment. 

a small view of my desk (check out my custom nameplate- seriously love!):

Some Things About Me

Um hi. All of a sudden it's been like, a month and I haven't written anything on here. But that's kind of the name of the game now, right? Getting caught up in other things, I sort of forgot my virtual world existed. 
I don't have much to say, I'd love to tell you about my job, but I think I'll wait until I have more time and energy for that. 
My beautiful friend Amber, PR goddess and mother extraordinaire, tagged me in a fun questionnaire that I thought I'd share with you! So... here goes.

Why do you blog and how has it affected your life? I started blogging when Christian and I got engaged- mainly so that my family who didn't live near us could keep track of wedding plans and thoughts about our engagement. It's sort of turned into a place where I can track my thoughts and sometimes it's just really therapeutic to share your world with others. It's made me learn a lot about what I do want to share on the internet and I've also learned a lot about other people through blogging. It's also made me realize that there is a big disconnect between the online world and the real world. You shouldn't live your life to blog about it, you should live your life, and blog about it if you have time. 

 What is your biggest fear? My biggest fear in life is missing out. I've always been that way. I'm obsessed with being in the know and experiencing things that others do too. It's really stupid and something I should learn to get over, but there are SO many things I want to do, and I'm worried about not being able to experience it all. How do you time your life to make sure you can be apart of the things you're supposed to be a part of? And how do you even know what those things are? It's a terrible, terrible game.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Yes, this is just a practice run for your next job interview. Hopefully no more job interviews for me for a while! If I could time it right, I would love to be well established in my career, preferably at the agency I'm at now. There's so much room for growth and development there. Kids are off the radar for me at the moment (give me 8 more years, then I'll think about it). Ultimately, I hope to be even more in love with Christian than I am now and in a place where my self-esteem, standards, and heels are high.

What is your most awkward/embarrassing moment? Do I seriously have to pick one? I wish there were just a few, but unfortunately my whole life is one big embarrassment. There's that time I threw up chinese food all over the parking lot in front of Chin's grandparents the first time I met them. That was a good time. 

If you could meet anyone, real or fictional, who would you choose? On a less serious note, I day dream about meeting John Mayer, like every day. Luckily, BFF Ali and I share this dream and have a game plan down for our first encounter with him someday. On a more serious note, I would love to meet Hadley Richardson, Ernest Hemingway's first wife. Her story in The Paris Wife blew me away, and I would love to pick her brain (also highly recommend the book!). 

What is something you wonder about a lot? I wonder about people who I don't talk to anymore a lot. It's ridiculous and not good to dwell in the past, but when you leave the path of someone you used to know, it's natural to think about them from time to time. When you care about someone a lot, and then all of a sudden you don't, you don't ever really don't. Excuse my grammar. 

Where  do you find your greatest inspiration? I find a lot of inspiration through traveling. I'm a little bit of a wanderlust freak and being in a place where there's nothing to do but explore the beauty of what's around you is amazing. The sounds, sights, and smells of an unfamiliar place are the ultimate inspiration. 

Tell us about a favorite memory from growing up. One summer my family went to the 1000 islands up in Canada, and we stayed at this small bed and breakfast near Alexandria Bay. I think about it all the time because of the beautiful sunsets, the cold water, and the swing that hung from the B&B owner's tree in her front yard. I can still smell the blueberry breakfast bread pudding she made for us and for me, it was like the quintessential summer trip. I had sun-kissed cheeks and salt in my hair, and I can still remember waking up early in the morning, anticipating another day to start. Simpler times, people, simpler times. 

 

And there it is. I'd love to hear your answers to these questions! 

Why This Year Was The Hardest of My Life

I've been debating whether or not to write this post for a long time.

But the title kind of says it all. This past year was incredibly difficult. I don't mean to sound whiny (though my tendencies lately may point that way), but I've been feeling so down on myself as a woman.

A year ago, I had no idea what my life would entail when it came to the arduous and long journey that is medical school. Starting out, you expect it to be difficult, but the thoughts of someday having a doctor husband and a comfortable lifestyle wins out and it becomes this exciting road and we were told over and over, "medical school is an adventure, it'll be the best time of your life." 

Okay can I say something about that statement? Medical school is definitely an adventure. But this year was not the best time of our lives. It was the hardest. When Christian and I got married, I was on board 100 percent with him going to medical school. The thought was exciting and I was so proud of Christian for pursuing his dreams and working so hard to make them a reality. But being young, I hadn't developed enough mentally or emotionally to make a mature and decisive path for myself. I got caught up in the one goal we had (career-wise) as a couple: get Christian to medical school. 

The longer we were married and the older I got (though I realize 22 is still quite young and I am still very immature), the more I questioned this path we're on and the more I began to envision the goals I had for myself. 

All of a sudden, there were things I wanted to do but instead, I was living in my sister's basement finishing my bachelor's degree in 3 1/2 years so Christian could be where he wanted to be. Though I love Christian and I want to support him in any way I can, this was not my idea of the life I had pictured for myself. 

When we were all settled back in Rochester after Christmas, I began looking for a job to help support us through medical school. And this is important to note: I wasn't looking for a job to help fulfill me as a young, professional woman, I was looking for a job because it was my duty as a wife to support my husband while he furthered his career and academic studies.

I was offered a job at a great company at the end of March, and even though it was a big girl, professional job with a reputable company, I did not feel right about it. After praying about it and contemplating my options, I decided to turn it down and keep looking for other jobs. At the time, Christian was drowning in school work, extensive church responsibilities, and other duties like his job as his class secretary and surgery interest groups. He was barely staying afloat and so I decided to take a part-time job while I kept looking for a job that I felt good about. However, after being pressured and pressured, I took the job that I knew was wrong for me.

My first day of work I remember walking into a bathroom stall at 4 p.m, and sobbed for a half hour because I couldn't believe the mess I had gotten into. It was my first day and I knew the job was totally wrong for me. For me, it wasn't about the money, it was about being fulfilled as a human being and contributing to society. I felt defeated.

I was at a job that I didn't feel invested in whatsoever, but too tired and busy to make an effort at home or in my relationships with Christian, my family, and friends.

I started to explore my options and figure out what I really wanted to be doing with my life at this moment and in the future. For a long time I had been toying with the idea of culinary school, but the expense didn't seem worth it and there are no culinary institutes or art institutes in our area that offer a full program. Our local community college, however, offers a culinary arts certificate program that is one year long. The tuition is extremely inexpensive and even though it's just a community college program, I could still learn skills that interest me, even if they don't further my career. 

Christian was really supportive of the idea and I decided to find out more and I even signed up for classes (hellllooooo "preparation of breads and cookie doughs!"). However, once again I was at a crossroads. People around me, including my family, could not believe that I would give up a perfectly suitable job to go to some community college to do something that wouldn't help me support Christian. How dare I do something so selfish? Right? 

This whole situation has broken me. As a woman I've felt that I'm simply supposed to follow suit behind my husband, no questions asked. It's completely acceptable and admirable for Christian to spend 12 years (school, residency, AF payback) training for his career, but when I try to take 1 year at age 22 to get more education in something I'm extremely passionate about, I'm selfish and unwilling to support my husband? I realize that marriage is about sacrifice and compromise, but I think both of those things should be shared equally by both partners in a relationship.

I don't mean to sound resentful, because Christian has tried really hard recently to help me follow my dreams and change this unfulfilled state that I'm in, but this year has been so hard. Sometimes I resent being a woman, and I hate saying that. I've always valued my femininity but WHY is there so much pressure on women to support, nurture, and submit? Is there no place in (Mormon) society for women to excel, succeed, and thrive in our passions and talents?

I know the answer to that question is yes, there is a place for women with big dreams in society. Long story short, I decided to leave the company that I'm at. Though I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to work there, I know it was just not the right fit for me. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do now. I've applied to some other jobs more in my field of expertise (communications, pr, and event management), and I'm also still signed up for the culinary arts program. We'll see what this fall brings.

You're probably concerned and think I'm some scorned feminist, but I promise I'm just someone who lost sight of their individuality and personal goals. I think it's expected that as a young, temple-married woman, my blog is supposed to be about the eternal bliss of marriage and how blessed I am to have a husband. But I would be lying if I said how easy this past year was and how incredible the first year of medical school was, and that's just not true. I feel like I should be honest, and sharing the good and bad bits of marriage is part of that.

And I am extremely blessed to have Christian. In the end, even though my personal struggles have really affected our marriage this year, we are still happy and happy to be married. I could not have gotten through this year without Christian and his efforts to try to support me as I figure out my mess that is my life at this moment. 

If I sound resentful of him, it's probably more my jealousy of him. I envied him for so long. Knowing his career path since he was young and having nothing stopping him from doing it. I'm trying to copy his example now, I'm just a few years behind.

I apologize for this (probably very whiny) rant (with no pictures even!) and am seriously impressed if you made it all the way through this.

Change.

I've kind of turned my life upside down lately. I'm not exactly sure what's gotten into me and why all of a sudden I've turned into a rebellious teenager of sorts, but I'm feeling pretty good about it. 
I'm on this self-discovery bender and I've kind of decided to stop wishing things would happen, and just make them happen. 
Living alone does dangerous things to me. And I've lived alone a LOT this year. Being alone makes for a lot of quiet moments and a lot of thinking (read: daydreaming). I find myself late at night on my laptop scouring the internet for travel deals and planning trips all the way up to the point of booking them. I also find myself looking up prices on different classes I want to take and online shopping like a boss (actually not really- online shopping terrifies me and I work right by the mall so I tend to shy away from buying on the internet).
Let it be known though- I've turned into this free-spirit freak and I guess working all day and being alone at night will do that to you. It makes you want to be a little more free than you can actually be. 
This blog post will make sense to the rest of you in a little while, trust me. Just be aware: I'm not sitting in the passenger's seat of my own life anymore. I'm in the driver's seat going 150 mph.

Getting There

It seems that March has brought us a storm of to-do lists that never end. This weekend was the busiest of the busiest (and not necessarily the most pleasant) and it had me actually looking forward to Monday so I could maybe get my life/routine back, even if just for a couple days. 

We leave for Ireland on Sunday and I'm not sure if it's just because I planned the trip by myself and the success of it is riding on my shoulders, but I am freaking out a little. I'm not the most laid back person to begin with (you should see me when I'm late to something... not pretty), and the hype I feel about our upcoming trip is sending me into overdrive. I like having a lot of things to do so this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but things are definitely hectic around here. My suitcase has been packed for a few days (you see what I mean about anxious?) and so if you see me the next couple of days wearing pants that are four sizes too big and a t shirt running around like a nutcase, you've been warned. 

Regardless of the stress that comes with getting ready for a big trip, we are bouncing up and down over here with excitement. The stress is GOOD stress and I'd rather be stressed out over something fun and exciting so I really shouldn't even be worried. But how do you tell a naturally bred worrier not to worry? 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that this week is Cray with a capital C. Chin takes his cumulative final for this block on Friday and once he is done, break officially begins! So bring it on, Monday (and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday). 

Even my writing is sounding hectic today.

And for your viewing pleasure... How could you not love this little face?

Updates on All the Things

I'm not really sure where to begin here I guess. These past couple of weeks have honestly been some of the craziest, busiest, hardest, happiest weeks of my life. It feels weird to feel so many emotions all at one time, and it's left me exhausted and ragged. 

Since the last time I posted, I graduated from college (!), packed up everything else I possess (that wasn't already packed away), said goodbye to all my friends and sisters and family in Utah, moved across the country for good, reunited with Chin, and started moving into our house and painting. 

I think all the excitement has been too much for me, because I'm writing this post with a sniffly nose, headache, and a big mug of chamomile tea. 

Saying goodbye to Utah was a lot harder than expected. I cried A LOT, and listened to a lot of John Mayer ballads. I spent a lot of time going from house to house saying goodbye to some of my favorite people on this earth. It's just heart-wrenching to not know when you'll see someone again. It's not like you're not still best friends, it's just that distance is hard for soul. 

Regardless, being back with Chin is the best Christmas gift I could ask for, and I've been keeping so busy that the hurt I feel from missing my loved ones in Utah is being masked by running to job interviews and lathering paint rollers in Benjamin Moore. 

I was a bad documenter (is that a word?) and used my iPhone instead of my camera to record what's happened in the last little bit, so here are some shots of life lately via instagram and iPhone pics.

1. Let it snow! We had a few days of heaping piles of snow in Utah right before I left. I loved it and think God gave me one final gift of snowy mountains before I moved.

2. This was my capstone group for the semester. We spent a lot of quality time together and I love them. These kids are the salt of the earth right here.

3. Saying goodbye to AlPal was excruciating. We went out with a bang by watching Where the Light Is and eating costa vida, followed by me crying and Ali thinking I'm insane because I cry all the time over everything so that's good.

4. One last shot of the Brimhall building, where I basically spent every day in college.

5. My love triangle and first real friends at BYU. Kir and Liza got me through just about everything these past 3.5 years and I can't wait for what our future friendship holds.

6. Saying goodbye to snowy mountains on a teary/anxious plane ride back to New York.

 

You probably think I'm a freak and you'd probably be right since I was a mess last week. On a brighter note, things have been MUCH happier since being back home with Chin and my fam. 

7. Chin and I in front of our new place. We look cray because we had been moving stuff all day but we love it!

8. My favorite place, like ever.

9. I'm not made to make huge decisions apparently because picking out paint colors for the rooms in our house has been like, the hardest thing ever. 

Here are some "before" pictures of our place. As you will see, we have a LOT of work to do. The house has a lot of natural charm, but hopefully after we're done with it, it'll look like new. 

That couch came with the house, we're getting it reupholstered with some awesome fabric. I'm obsessed with the fireplace (that we can actually use!), the barn ceiling, and the built-ins in our living room! 

Are those curtains not the most awesome things you've ever seen? They'll be the first thing to go when we get to work on the living room. 

This is our master bedroom. It's the first room I wanted to tackle because that awful yellow paint and tacky window valences are going to drive me insane.

This is our sun room. It's actually pretty awesome and is getting new tile put in over Christmas. It used to have this disgusting plush green carpet. Hallelujiah for tile.

This is the dining room. We're taking down the wallpaper and painting it light grey, and hoping that I can scratch that tacky floral print out of my eyeballs.

Ohhhhh the kitchen. It's by far having the most work done to it. The linoleum floor is being replaced with tile, the countertops are being replaced with granite ones, and we're getting a new sink and some more cabinets. We're hoping it will look brand new when it's all done!

Some progress: I started painting the master bedroom today. It looks blue here but it's actually a darker grey that I'm still adjusting to. Luckily anything is better than yellow. I didn't picture our other 2 bedrooms or bathroom, but they basically look the same. Lots of potential. :)

The Reason I Need A Pup

Whether you're getting blown away by Hurricane Sandy or staying dry on the West Coast, here are some photos of my favorite new pup, Trotter. I found him on instagram about a month or so ago, and while I have no idea who takes his pictures or how he sits still for so long, he is my new best friend.

Trotter has renewed my desperate obsession with getting a bulldog. French or English, I don't discriminate. (You can - and should - see more of Trotter HERE. And follow him because you will die every time he pops up on your instagram feed.)

Happy Monday!

Weekend Bliss

I've been MIA recently because I haven't had a whole lot to write about. I figured instead of blogging about things that would probably bore you to tears (like my fall TV show list and how much time I spend looking for apartments online), I would just stay silent until something worth blogging about came along.

So here it goes, this weekend I took another trip to Rochester. It was the weekend from Heaven. The first few weeks from when I got back from Rochester the first time seemed to go by pretty quickly. I was busy enough that October got here earlier than expected, but the last two weeks have dragged on and this weekend couldn't seem to come soon enough.

I took a red eye Wednesday night so by the time I got to Rochester Thursday morning I was exhausted. But after a shower and a nap I was ready to go, and Christian got home early from school so we got to spend the afternoon together.

We did a lot of my favorite things this weekend. Living in Provo by myself, I haven't gone out and done a lot this semester (which has been admittedly hard for me), so not only was it amazing to be with Christian, but it was so fun to get out and do things together. 

The weather in Upstate New York is my favorite of all time currently. Chilly with a crisp breeze, and crunchy leaves under our feet. The leaves were just at the final moments of their fall transformation this weekend, right before they fall and leave the forests barren for Winter. 

Between the colors and breathtaking landscapes, I spent the whole weekend telling everyone, "I can't believe how pretty it is here!"

You would have thought that I had never been to the Northeast before- let alone lived there. 

Here are a few shots from one of the best weekends I can remember:

A shot from our walk around Mendon Ponds Park, a park close to my parents' home.

Thursday afternoon we went to Powers Farm Market, a small local produce store that I've been going to during the fall since I was a child. In the fall they have fresh apples, a pumpkin patch, a petting zoo, and man-made corn husk TeePees that they fill with lit jack-o-lanterns.

Chin and I spent the afternoon drinking hot cider and eating pumpkin donuts, exploring the TeePees, feeding the goats, and picking out the perfect pumpkin. In my definition, pure bliss. 

A few more shots from our walk in the park:

On Friday we went with my parents to one of my favorite eating spots in Rochester, Olive's Greek Taverna.
I've mentioned it a lot on here (like, it's a strange obsession), but I always find myself wanting to go here every time I visit. 
Their chicken gyros and Greek feta dill fries are incredible, and so fresh and light (as light as french fries can be). 
Post dinner we went to see Perks of Being a Wallflower. I haven't read the book so I'm not sure how it compares, but the movie was amazing. Funny, but touched on a lot of intense issues that don't often get portrayed in film.

My view from my parents' deck Saturday morning.

Saturday night we had some of Chin's friends from medical school over for dinner. I had met them once before but felt like I knew them already because Chin talks about them so much (and they lived up to all the hype- here's hoping I did too!). 

On Sunday, my flight left in the early afternoon. After church Chin and I took my pup Rusty on a walk around my parents' pond and the neighborhood. Rusty decided to be rebellious and run off and get himself in a little trouble, but we had so much fun chasing him around and keeping him out of his pond. 

Overall, it was an amazing weekend, and it was really REALLY hard to leave. Sometimes I wonder if it's wise for me to even visit at all, because every time I leave it gets harder and harder. But, it's so worth it to see Chin. 

P.S. Sorry for the picture overload, I'm trying to document our time together as much as possible this semester.

How was your weekend?